ANYONE who knows me, or know’s me only as Olive’s mother, KNOWS I may have quite possibly the cutest daughter in the world (I like to think she gets this from me) And I know it’s probably frowned upon to boast that your daughter really is the cutest. But let’s call a spade a spade here, she’s bloody adorable. But not only is she cute as a button, it’s safe to say she’s all round a pretty good baby, she’s had no health issues (bar the odd cold) she’s always been a GREAT eater, she’s happy, and she’s slept through from about 7 weeks old (no hate mail please).

So I know what you’re all probably thinking, I AM THE BABY WHISPERER. Well it could NOT be any further from the truth…

To be perfectly honest I don’t think I really LIKE babies, I don’t think I’ve EVER really liked babies. The first year Aidan and I were together he sat me down on the edge of the bed and said “Okay, this year which do you want more?

A Baby
A Dog
A Ring

Obviously I said a DOG! I had been researching various dog breed’s for months and growing up on a farm have always been surrounded by dogs, however being a dog owner was not in my stars.

A mere 6 months later Aidan had brainwashed me into wanting to try for a baby, and before I knew it I was off the pill. (Side note: Aidan has been clucky since the ripe age of about 21years old, where the ONLY thing stopping him from having babies was his bank balance which consisted of not very much at the time) Suddenly before I knew it, I was taking a pregnancy test in the bathrooms at work, and well who would have thought after the FIRST go I would fall pregnant.

By the time I had my blood tests I was already 8 weeks pregnant, and Olive was the size of a kidney bean. (although I thought my maternal intuition had kicked in already and i KNEW in the depths of my heart she was a HE…lol) Being pregnant is a weird sensation, and I don’t think any woman really knows what experience she is going to have until she’s living it herself. I felt like Ben Cousins after a big weekend for the first 8-14 weeks, then suddenly I felt amazing, like this beautiful goddess growing a little human, singing opera music to by belly in a warm bath and constantly making sure everything i ate/did was the best for the baby.

Then reality hit. WTF do I do with a baby??

The more baby books I read, the more paranoid and confused I got. Did I have everything i needed to keep this little “boy” alive? organic cotton towels, alarm system set up under mattress incase he stopped breathing, why didn’t I do the birthing classes yet? Should I be freeze drying and eating my placenta? (I did FYI) It seams the more books and websites I visited the more overwhelmed i became. So I stopped. Cold Turkey. Then my beautiful friend Bianca Menniti gave birth to her gorgeous little man “Harlo” and we were going to catch up for coffee and meet him for the first time. I remember BEGGING Aidan in the car to make sure he covered me if anyone made me hold or touch the baby…the truth was out I was 7 months pregnant and NEVER HELD A BABY let alone a week old freshy, which I didn’t know is quite possibly the smallest and most terrifying of beings. My friends being the lovely people they are proceeded to hand me the baby and I swear to god I could have gone into early labour right then and there from the nerves. I was whispering something along the lines of “get him the hell off me now” petrified he was going to cry, which of course meant I was going to be a terrible mother and never should have gotten pregnant in the first place.

-please note the photo of me so comfortably and casually holding the tiny child, nailed it.

It’s hard not to question yourself when it comes to being a mother, but lucky I had those extra weeks after my due date to think about it, so when the time finally came for me to be induced I was just so ready to have the baby, and for people to stop asking me “have you had a baby yet” I went into hospital strangely calm..at first. I won’t rag on about how torturous the next 48hours were, but all I do know, it that once the tiny, hairy little GIRL came into the world and was whacked on my chest I didn’t worry whether I had a diffuser set up at home with the right essential oils, or if I had the highest tech bottle steriliser. Maternal instincts kicked in (hallelujah) and I felt like I wanted to shove all the stressful books where the sun doesn’t shine. (Although mind you, in my hospital room when she had done one of her very first poo’s I suddenly realised i had NO idea how to change a nappy, or do the weird straightjacket thing with the cloth, and Olive’s Godmother (who has a background in childcare) was thankfully there and laughed as she showed both Aidan and I how to change her nappy and swaddle her up. Thanks Alice).

I am NOT a baby whisperer, damn I’m probably not even a very good parent. I think I just got hell lucky (Or maybe it was the classical music I played in the tub) to have a little girl who is so well adjusted, and so happy to be here. Therefore, I HATE giving too much advice to parents, as I found the advice people were giving me too overwhelming and actually did the opposite of helping, for some reason everyone becomes an expert once they have a baby. “Breast is best” “Don’t Co-sleep” “Don’t use controlled crying” Do whatever you want, no one knows your baby like you do, hell you spent the better part of a year baking him/her. But I do have some advice which I think is pretty good, as early on as possible make sure you and your baby have a GREAT GP. Sometimes the 4am google doctor does more harm than good. So head’s up ladies, if I can do it…trust me, you can do it too!

I’m more than happy to write up a post of things however that i find Olive does like, and what works for her if anyone gives a rats! (but its not parenting advice aight!)

Being Olive's Mum